Tuesday, June 4, 2019

6/3/19, W07 ‘Differences in Manners’


As I listened to Brother Ivers talk about manners in various cultures, https://video.byui.edu/media/06+Difference+in+Manners/0_xc0a34gb
I realized that there are many cultural differences in what constitutes acceptable, polite, bothersome or offensive social behavior. I have spent most of my life in America and was taught what our culture’s manners are. I grew up knowing that it is polite and expected to say please, thank you, and excuse me, and to show respect for our elders and our country. Compared to when I was a child, it’s harder to tell what our culture’s manners are. Reflecting on this, I realized that children are taught, and manners are emphasized in the home. Our homes are subcultures of the greater American society. So, as we look around and see trash littering streets and sidewalks, notice an increase in road rage, noise ordinances in housing developments being ignored, and we ask why the lack of respect for others and of allegiance to our country, could possible answers be that manners aren’t being discussed in homes, or that some people simply refuse to follow etiquette? Sadly, for these reasons, I feel that other cultures can’t just ‘see how everyone else is doing it here in America and follow suite’.




I appreciated Brother Ivers point regarding our response when we encounter differences in manners. What do we do when a foreigner is staring? He suggested that instead of responding negatively to the stares on the bus, you ‘look out the window’. I would like to apply that advice to several different situations; for example, what should you do when someone yawns and doesn’t cover his mouth? How about giving them the benefit of the doubt and looking away? Perhaps covering his mouth was not a part of his culture’s or subculture’s manners and he isn’t trying to offend or insult you.

Brother Ivers also talked about the idea of training American soldiers in cross cultural differences, but I think it would be good to expand that training to include employees in other fields of study affected by globalization, as well as immigrants and visitors, as this teaching would bring about an even greater cross-cultural understanding. In the article that discussed good and bad manners around the world, https://people.howstuffworks.com/13-examples-of-good-and-bad-manners-around-the-world.htm#page=0
the history of one of the country’s bad manners was explained. As we begin to understand the reasons behind behaviors, our tolerance for differences increases. For this reason, as we teach English and culture in the TESOL classroom, it would be appropriate to share the acceptable and bothersome behaviors in our society. 

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