As I listened to Brother Ivers talk about manners in various
cultures, https://video.byui.edu/media/06+Difference+in+Manners/0_xc0a34gb
I realized that there are many cultural differences in what constitutes
acceptable, polite, bothersome or offensive social behavior. I have spent most
of my life in America and was taught what our culture’s manners are. I grew up
knowing that it is polite and expected to say please, thank you, and excuse me,
and to show respect for our elders and our country. Compared to when I was a
child, it’s harder to tell what our culture’s manners are. Reflecting on this,
I realized that children are taught, and manners are emphasized in the home. Our
homes are subcultures of the greater American society. So, as we look around and
see trash littering streets and sidewalks, notice an increase in road rage, noise
ordinances in housing developments being ignored, and we ask why the lack of
respect for others and of allegiance to our country, could possible answers be that
manners aren’t being discussed in homes, or that some people simply refuse to follow
etiquette? Sadly, for these reasons, I feel that other cultures can’t just ‘see
how everyone else is doing it here in America and follow suite’.
I appreciated Brother Ivers point regarding our response when
we encounter differences in manners. What do we do when a foreigner is staring?
He suggested that instead of responding negatively to the stares on the bus, you
‘look out the window’. I would like to apply that advice to several different
situations; for example, what should you do when someone yawns and doesn’t
cover his mouth? How about giving them the benefit of the doubt and looking
away? Perhaps covering his mouth was not a part of his culture’s or subculture’s
manners and he isn’t trying to offend or insult you.
Brother Ivers also talked about the idea of training
American soldiers in cross cultural differences, but I think it would be good
to expand that training to include employees in other fields of study affected
by globalization, as well as immigrants and visitors, as this teaching would
bring about an even greater cross-cultural understanding. In the article that
discussed good and bad manners around the world, https://people.howstuffworks.com/13-examples-of-good-and-bad-manners-around-the-world.htm#page=0
the history of one of the country’s bad manners was explained.
As we begin to understand the reasons behind behaviors, our tolerance for differences
increases. For this reason, as we teach English and culture in the TESOL
classroom, it would be appropriate to share the acceptable and bothersome behaviors
in our society.
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